50+ Best British Jokes, Puns And One-Liners

Some of these hilarious English jokes and jokes about Londoners will definitely knock your socks off!

These jokes about British people will definitely make you chuckle. British humor is popular all around the world due to its self-aware nature, which also lends to the popularity of British stand-up comedy.

If you're somebody who's planning on traveling to the UK soon or currently resides in Great Britain, you will surely love these one-liners and jokes. This comprehensive list includes various London jokes, funny British jokes, England jokes, and England puns. We're sure reading these British jokes and puns is going to be a piece of cake for you!

If you're interested in going through some more amazing puns, make sure to check out country puns and tea puns.

Funny English Jokes

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Here is a list of funny English jokes we are sure you will like! If you really like even one of these English jokes,  you can use it in a variety of settings.  If you like all things British, you can get ready for their subtle humor.

1. What had the English telecom representative said to the man who wanted to describe a nuisance caller? Oh, you again.

2. Why is England described as being a wet country? The Queen has reigned over it for decades.

3. Why doesn't England have a designated kidney bank? They have a Liverpool.

4. What does the Lochness monster call his favorite dish? Fish & Ships.

5. Why doesn't any member of the royal family go to Starbucks? They don't have an option for royal-tea.

6. What does the English owl call his favorite TV show? Dr. Whoot.

7. What do you do after reaching Greenwich? Find something to occupy you in the mean time.

8. How do individuals in Scotland, England, Northern Ireland, and Wales ask each other about their well-being on text? U K?

9. Why did children have to always main a 3-foot distance from English kings? The kings had limited heirspace.

10. Why didn't Frideric Handel shop in London? He had gone Baroque.

11. Why did the woman have a horrible time in London?  She had a horrible heir day.

12. Why did the graduate reminisce his college days in England so fondly? Those were the best of Thames.

13. Why was the pet owner having such a hard time with the puppy he'd just adopted in England? The puppy couldn't be thamed.

14. What had the son said to his mom when she expressed her worry about him going to the Big Ben? It's just the Big Ben, there's no reason to be alarmed.

15. What was the man feeling after he got swindled right under Big Ben? He was ticked off.  

16. What did the English banker say to the river who was looking to open a new account? You can easily bank on me.

17. Why is everybody in London always nearly late? They're always nearly on the Thames.

18. What is the main distinction between ohms and watts? Watts measure energy, while Ohms are the places that Brits reside in.

19. Why was the English man so sad about being in college, so far away from his lover? He couldn't Oxford to see her.